surrender to the BREAKING, & Become

surrender to the breaking

It sounds absurd to say, “ Surrender To The Breaking,” right? Like, who would genuinely want to submit themselves to any form of being broken? Everything in society tells us to be “That Girl” who always has everything together, or “That Guy” who has everything that he wants. But I always knew looks were deceiving. Nobody is perfect, but God. So sometimes, those who appear to have it all are pretty far from truly having it all. 

Looks Can Absolutely Be Deceiving 

I was one of those people who had the appearance. To others, it may have seemed like my life was completely together. I had a great job, my own home, and a nice car, which helped paint a distorted picture of me. And don’t get me wrong, I have always had a very kind and compassionate heart, and valued helping others, standing up for those who could not stand up for themselves, and more, but I finally needed to admit to myself that I did not, in fact, have it all.

A few years ago, it came to a point where it wasn’t something that was missing, it was me that was missing. And whoever I had been for the last 30 years was not who I was. I had hidden myself away in past hurt, trauma, poor decisions, the poor decisions of others, losses, and perceived successes. I adapted the exterior of my life to match how I wanted to be perceived. 

Very few people, when I say few, I mean it, ever saw any level of actual vulnerability in me. I had a soft appearance on the outside, coating a very hardened shell that covered a tender heart that needed healing. But before my heart could be healed, it first needed to be revealed so that it could be gracefully broken and molded anew. I had been to therapy and counseling at different points in my life, but no person could heal my heart, not even me. 

Who Is Supposed to Heal Broken Hearts? 

So if I could not heal my heart, and no one else could either, who would? That’s a great question. And the amazing thing is, I already knew there was only One who could. You see, I came to know Jesus when I was a little girl. I always knew He was God, and I always believed in Him. I never strayed to other religious beliefs because I encountered Him. Not a religious system, not a church system, but I encountered Jesus. But I still strayed from Him. I strayed because of my own pain, trauma, and fleshly desires, like wanting to be in control. So I ran from Him.

When I chose to run, life became more “life-like.” I met my husband, but didn’t understand how to be the wife I longed to be. We had children, but I didn’t know how to be the mother I desperately wanted to be. I had ideas, visions, and dreams, but didn’t know how to really achieve them. I had, I had, I had. But, for everything in me, I knew there was more. I knew there was more in each of those callings as a wife, mother, and future business owner, but I didn’t know how to get there. I knew there was more for our family, and my heart was yearning for it. But I felt like I couldn’t get there on my own. 

But God !!!

I Surrendered and He Restored Me

Because I knew love, guidance, correction, protection, and more were only found in Jesus, I ran back to Him. However, this time I ran back with a heart that was ready to surrender to Him. You see, I ran back to Jesus because HE was there all along through His Holy Spirit. He reminded me that I could Become/ He reminded me that there was more. He reminded me of His love. He reminded me that He never left, and never would. He reminded me that He would guide me into Becoming the woman He had created me to be. He reminded me that HE would guide my family. He reminded me that I am His and He is mine, and so much more. So I prayed earnestly, asking God to break me and make me into who He called me to be.  

And it was in that place of surrender, true humility, and authenticity where I said, “I don’t want just to know You, I want You to be my Lord and my Savior and break me to make me who You created me to be.” And then I began to Become. Surrendering to God has allowed Him to break every hold on my life that was not of Him. The breaking brought me to a place of deliverance, healing, and deeper knowing of God day by day. I also came to know my true and highest self that could only be found in Him. I am now walking in the vehicles toward the purpose HE has called me to: truly helping others, knowing true freedom,  joy,  peace,  love,  patience, and what it really means to have everything. And it all happened because Jesus called, and my answer was yes to His way.

I’m Here to Help You on Your Journey

This may be you today. Are you in a place where you know something is missing, and you are longing for more? Maybe you have business success, but there is still an aching in your heart for something more. Maybe you are walking through a hard season in your marriage, and you don’t know how to walk through it together. Maybe this season of motherhood or fatherhood is taking so much out of you that you don’t know how you will stay filled to pour into your family. Maybe you are stepping into a new career, becoming a new grandparent, or carrying the weight of grief and loss.

If any one of these “maybes” is you, or you feel a tugging on your heart in another area, I would like to invite you to Become. Because it is in the place of surrender, whether it's one part of your life that you haven’t given to God yet or a whole life that needs to be laid down, that you will step into Becoming All of Who God Has Called You To Be In Him. 

Come along on this Journey 2 Becoming with Tegan, Becoming All of Who God Has Called You To Be, and let’s “Become” together.